The Shoebox

Why The Filet Mignon is The G.O.A.T Food.

Sup Shoebox! I hope you guys are having a great week! I know this is a little early for a blog, but I’m going be absolutely obliterated by homework this weekend (@ all my professors) so I wanted to get some of the little stuff out of the way first. I’m honestly just gonna give up on getting more clout on Instagram because you guys aren’t very committed, not gonna lie. I was really hoping to be at 500 followers by now, but that’s okay. I will keep my account down below anyways, just trying to keep my dream alive. Anyways, grab your finest cut of meat, cook that up, sit down, and enjoy the blog!

I just wanna tell all you people out there, if you haven’t had the scrumptious, soft, and savory sensation of grilled cow loin in your mouth, you honestly haven’t lived yet. This meat is like a juicy piece of cotton candy, melting in your mouth. I’m talking of course about the filet mignon. I will defend this meal until the day I die. It has a perfect consistency with a crispy crust and a chewy center, which complement each other beautifully. Speaking of complements, the filet mignon needs none. Hamburgers need ketchup, tomatoes, lettuce, and pickles and you can’t make good spaghetti without pasta sauce, but the filet mignon is often served on its own. Maybe with some mashed potatoes and asparagus, but that’s usually the limit. Filet mignons are so perfect it is most often served alone. This also takes away the risk of over saturating your meal with sauces and sides that I see a lot of in restaurants when I am ordering another dish. Also, the price of the filet mignon is a good indication of how good it is. Filet mignons are usually only served in the finest establishments with a high cost. This shows how valuable that this steak is. All in all, this is the best food ever made. Every person should be given the opportunity to have a filet mignon.

I hope that this is enough to convince you that the filet mignon is God’s gift to all things culinary. If you don’t agree, I’ll keep it simple for you: you are wrong! I could have written a whole novel on why the filet mignon is the best, but miss me with writing more than 3 paragraphs. I pity you if you have been cursed by the ailment of veganism and can’t eat the matchless meal. But I still all you guys are pretty cool. I gotta bounce because I’m starting to get hungry. Have a great rest of your week Shoebox!

Instagram: @andy_schuster

My Case For Paul Blart: Mall Cop 3

Sup Shoebox! I hope y’all had a great week! Mine was pretty good to be pretty honest. Thank you all for following my insta page. Just kidding! Literally nobody did that. We need to get in gear guys, like com’on. Anyways, this blog might be a lil shorter than the last two because I just really wanna go to bed not gonna lie. That’s all I gotta say. Enjoy the blog!

A few days ago I was sitting in my thinking chair in 001 Marycrest listening to Old Town Road and eating fruit snacks, when something occurred to me. My childhood is done. Gone to ashes, kicked the bucket, donezo. I don’t wanna depress you guys, I just gotta set the background for what I am about to say. I then started thinking of things I did as a kid. A lot of stupid stuff like bragging about my 30 pound cat and listening to weird music. But I thought a lot about the movies I watched. Not just the good ones like Star Wars and the Avengers, but the ones that have always stuck in my head. The one that kept me thinking was, of course, Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

I think Paul Blart gets a bad rap for being too silly and ridiculous. But I think the Paul Blart: Mall Cop film franchise is a funny and beautiful series that anybody can enjoy. The main protagonist of Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Paul Blart, is a man we should all mirror in our every day lives. Despite having a less than ideal job and bodily shape and having bad blood sugar, Paul stays confident and happy. Paul Blart makes the most of what life has given him, which not a lot of people can say (including yours truly) in the real world. He is also a great father and the part where he was playing guitar hero was freaking hilarious not gonna lie. If you didn’t laugh when Kevin James tried to slide across the floor like ninja, then you probably don’t have a sense of humor. These movies also have plenty of action, romance, and drama for anyone to enjoy. In short, the Paul Blart: Mall Cop franchise is really good guys. Trust me on that.

It is no secret that Hollywood is running out of ideas. Reboots are coming out the wazoo every year. However, Hollywood is rebooting franchises that are 30 to 40 years old. Some of those people who grew up with those movies may not be interested at that point. I think a Paul Blart: Mall Cop 3 or even a Paul Blart: Mall Cop reboot will do great for a generation of younger adults. People like me who have just grown out of their childhood would probably love to see a movie that will remind them of a few years ago when they were just a kid. It will give them a sense of familiarity when they are being eased into adulthood. This movie will also do great for anyone who just wanna see a good movie. I think if Hollywood would take all the good from the past two Paul Blart movies, it will be a mastapiece. Trust me on that.

So to sum this up y’all: they should really make another Paul Blart movie. If some really loaded Hollywood exec wants to hire me to help them out, I’d be down not gonna lie. When they do make a Paul Blart 3, just know I called it first. Have a great of your weekend Shoebox! Watch out for crazy dudes on segways.

Insta Plug: @andy_schuster

Opposites Attract: Country and Trap

Hey there Shoebox! I hope y’all had a great week! Mine was pretty lit not gonna lie. I’m hype to provide you guys more content though! I’m also happy to say that I got a few more followers for the gram! So lets keep that rolling guys. If you guys ever have any suggestions for me feel free to hit up the DM anytime. Well anyways, sit back, grab your juice box and your favorite potata chips, and enjoy the blog!

I would like for you guys to think back to the last time you dipped a french fry into a Wendy’s frosty. Or when you first had a chocolate covered pretzel. A few days ago a friend of mine introduced me to eating mini sour patch and popcorn sandwiches. My point is that these two opposite flavors, sweet and salty, erupt your taste buds in a beautiful chorus of flavor. And speaking of chorus, I believe a revolution has currently been hitting the music world. Just like mixing pineapple and pizza, artists have now been combining trap music with country. And oh boy, is it beautiful.

Trap and country music provide opposite sounds and backgrounds similar to how ice cream and peanuts have the opposite flavors and textures. Trap singers will pride themselves with coming off the streets of Brooklyn, Atlanta, Compton, Chicago, or Philadelphia and will mention that in like all their songs. At the same time, country singers won’t shut up about being “small town people” and are in love with tractors and corn or something like that. The sounds of these two genres are also really different. Trap music is really energetic, with hard bass drops and heavy techno beats. Trap is the type of music I get hype to walking to class so I can wake up. On the other hand, country usually takes a more chill tone. Its the kind of music you listen to when your in middle of nowhere, Ohio, just looking at millions of miles of soybeans and wheat. This sound is much more simplistic, usually having just an acoustic guitar and people with weird accents. It is hard to imagine these two ever being together.

I remember the first time I heard it. It was a cold and wet January morning, and I taking my purple mini van to school. I was tired from grinding the night before, so I turned on my local rap station. The sound of Lil Nas X with “Old Town Road” coming through my speakers was something to behold. Needless to say, I was freaking bopping to that jam. It was amazing. Now I have all versions of that song on my Spotify (I will leave a link down below don’t worry) and I am still listening to them to this day. Literally right now I am hearing Billy Ray Cyrus belt out a masterpiece of a remix. It is the difference between these two different sounds that complement each other so well it molds into something spectacular. It has the beat, the silly accent, the odd culture of both country and trap, and it also sounds pretty lit. Old Town Road isn’t the only masterpiece too. Songs like “The Git Up” and “Family Don’t Matter” are some bops also.

I’d really like to personally thank Lil Nas X and my boi Billy Ray Cyrus for producing one of the best jams of our generation (yea I meant that). I just wanna let them know if they’re ever in the Dayton area, they should for real hmu. I believe they inspired a new generation of music that will not be afraid to experiment and do things that people wouldn’t expect. I know I am going to get down to country-trap for years to come and I’m hype to hear new songs in that genre. All in all, country music is the jelly to trap music’s peanut butter, and they make a really yum sandwich. Later Shoebox!

Instaplug: @andy_schuster

Spotify plug: @shoeboi

My Great Flabby Feline Friend

Hey there Shoebox! I hope you guys all had a great week! I know you all have been just dying for me to come back and I’m excited to make this new blog post. I just wanted to apologize if my last posts were a bit on the boring side or a little hard to read. I will try to make things a little spicier and neater as things go on. That’s all.

For those who know me well enough, they will understand my affection for the animal pictured above. One of the most bitter moments of leaving for college was leaving behind my blubbery buddy, Louie. My cat and I have had an interesting relationship over the nine years that I have known him. When Louie was first brought into my home, he wasn’t nearly as sassy, and most notably: fat, as he is now known today. He was a scared little kitten hiding in a box. I remember sitting outside said box for about an hour waiting for my cat to do something and being extremely quiet to avoid disturbing him. After that hour, I had earned Louie’s trust. He crawled slowing out of the Petco box, inspecting his new surroundings, then finally climbing on my lap and falling asleep. A new bond was formed. Louie and Andy Schuster were bros.

In spite of Louie’s origin story, everyone who has been privileged enough to see my cat will marvel about his beastly size. Yes he’s a pretty big cat. 30 pounds to be exact. I will admit this is partly my fault. Whenever I’m in my basement chilling on my PS4 winning solo’s in Fortnite, Louie would harass me with a flood of meow’s and will even be so bold as to bite me. He does this whenever he is hungry. It is also worth noting that he is hungry ALL THE TIME! Even when I am sleeping he will find a way to sneak under my covers to bite my legs so I can wake up at 4 am to feed him. I even remember an instance where he chased me throughout the house, like a lion chasing his zebra, for his grub. And 9 times out of 10 I will give in to his demands and give him another scoop of kibble. So yeah, my cat’s obesity is caused by his immense hunger as well as my lack of assertiveness.

I don’t want to end this blog giving my cat a bad rap. He is probably the coolest pet a dude can ask for. If I was ever missing a pillow at night, I could use just my cat’s fat to put my head on and it was just as comfortable. Seeing Louie’s belly flab sway from side to side when chasing a laser pointer is probably one of the funniest things I have ever seen. Louie is a great conversation starter whenever I am meeting new people. And when I look past all the abuse I’ve gone through because of Louie, he really is a sweet cat. Louie always seems to be interested in what I am doing whether its watching a movie, playing video games, or gnawing on a chicken wing. He will still crawl on my lap to take a quick cat nap and loves it when I play with him. I really think Louie just wants to be a part of the family even when his immense hunger gets in the way. I really hope you guys can have a pet as rad as my dude Louie (just don’t let him bite you). He was a blast to grow up with. I really miss Louie and I bet he misses me and I cannot wait to see him in a few months! Keep it classy Shoebox! See ya next week!

P.S. I didn’t get any new Instagram followers since my last blog and that’s kind of disappointing…. @andy_schuster. Follow it.

My Writing Expertise… Or Lack Thereof

When people think of great writers, they probably picture Stephen King, Mark Twain, or Agatha Christie. I don’t think Andy Schuster comes close to the expertise held by the world’s greatest literary artists. To be honest with you, I have never been in an advanced English class until now. So when I discovered I was taking this honors writing seminar at UD, I was a little scared. In high school, I only wrote papers to not fail a class. So no, I do not consider myself to be a writer. I just never had any interest in the things I had to write. Having to make a 10 page biography about Thomas Jefferson is really boring! I believe this is my greatest downfall as a “writer.” I tend to rush through my assignments just to finish so I can go back to playing Minecraft or watching Spongebob. However, I think this blog gives me an opportunity to take interest in what I write. People who know me will probably say I got a little bit of an ego and I like to say whatever pops in my head. Not going to lie, they are kind of right. But this blog gives me the perfect opportunity to fuel my ego and I will get to say whatever is on my mind. I can finally write what I want to! I don’t think J.K. Rowling would be a famous author if she was forced to write columns about Harry Styles rather than getting bring her passion to life by making the Harry Potter books. Nobody would know who George RR Martin is if he had to write novels about the game of golf instead of writing Game of Thrones. What I am trying to get at is that I really don’t think anybody can be a great writer if they can’t write what they are interested in. I will try to improve my writing this semester by taking an interest in my assignments and not rush through them just to get the paper done. After I submit this prompt, I will be able to blog about whatever I want (within reason) and I’m pretty hype for that. I really don’t think I’m going to write the next Lord of the Rings or Moby Dick or anything like that, but it’ll probably be pretty dope. Later Shoebox!

Insta Plug @andy_schuster

La Première (It’s French for the beginning)

Hello ladies and sup bros! My name is Andy Schuster and welcome to “The Shoebox,” my new blog! I am from Toledo, Ohio and I’m a first year student at the University of Dayton as well as a member of the men’s cross country team and I’m pretty stoked to start this. I’m a pretty cool guy; I like running, listening to music, and taking naps. I hope I can give you guys some life lessons or teach you guys how to be cool. If not, that’s fine. My grammar and spelling is probably pretty wack, but I think this still might be a pretty dope blog. I just hope my English professor likes this because its for a grade. But you guys can feel free to give me feedback or whatever if you wanna. Welcome to the Shoebox!

P.S. I’m trying to get more Insta followers. @andy_schuster